Learning From Ruth: Part 3--Obedience as the Heart's Desire

"The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character. 1 --Ruth 3:10-11 (NIV)

When I was only fourteen I started praying in earnest about the type of man I would one day marry. An article in Focus on the Family's "Brio" magazine encouraged me to pray that I marry a godly man best suited for me.

A godly man best suited for me. At the time I read those words I had no idea what that could possibly entail. My great-grandmother--a woman of faith and a pastor’s wife--used to say that “every pot has a lid.” I understood this archaic expression to mean that everyone has a perfect romantic match out there somewhere in the world; each of us has, for lack of a better term, a soul mate.

As I consider my great-grandmother’s words now, I’m convinced that it means that each of us has been equipped by God with certain gifts and abilities to fulfill a particular role in the body of Christ, that is, the church at large. This does not exclude the role of being a woman of godly character as it relates to being a wife.

As a young woman determined to lay the groundwork for a godly marriage, it was not enough for me to have found someone well suited for me. I also had to be well suited for him. In order to fulfill his needs and serve him faithfully, I needed to align my thoughts and actions with what God has established as a wife’s purpose. In Genesis 2:18 the Bible says “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (KJV) God created Eve as an help meet for Adam. He has also created me as a suitable helper for my husband.

Even as a married woman I still regularly review my attitude and ambition to make sure that I am submitting my will to God’s authority. Such an ongoing process serves as a constant reminder that I must allow my God to be the one who brings about all good things in and through me. Left on my own, I could never be an adequate or suitable helper.

Like Ruth, I was obedient to God as I sought out a potential spouse. I didn’t date anyone who wasn’t a Christian, and I prayed often that I would not only find ‘the one’ but that I would be ‘the one’ as well. Where we are today is the result of God’s faithfulness. I firmly believe that if I had not yielded my will to God’s so early on and trusted him to fulfill my heart’s desire to be a wife, I would not have the marriage that I do.

Learning From Ruth--Part 2: Working Toward Comfort

"May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord," she said. "You have given me comfort and have spoken kindly to your servant—though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls." Ruth 2:13 (NIV)

Bethlehem was a town unfamiliar to Ruth. Its customs, its people and their faith were at the outermost edges of Ruth’s comfort zone. She had made her choice that this land was to be a new home for her, and that meant she had to acclimatize herself to her new surroundings rather quickly! Ruth, recently widowed and distanced from her own family, needed a way to provide for herself and her also widowed mother-in-law. Even in her grief, Ruth knew that her first responsibility was to meet her most basic need. Ruth needed food, and she wasn’t too proud to beg for it.

To this end, Ruth came upon a field and asked the reapers for permission to glean among the stalks that were left behind. When the owner of the field, a wealthy and educated man named Boaz, came to check on his workers, he saw Ruth and asked his workers about her. They explained that she was a foreigner, collecting leftovers off the ground in order to have food. Rather than leave Ruth to gather crumbs, Boaz instructed his men to provide her with some stalks from the bundles as well. He spoke to Ruth and told her that she was permitted to rest with his maidens, and help herself to the water whenever she was thirsty.

Ruth responded with an attitude of humility and not entitlement. Clearly Boaz was wealthy, a man of property, and a man of charity. If this story were taking place today, I imagine that it would have played out very differently. Ruth could have attempted to manipulate Boaz by telling him of the recent tragedy in her family. She could have tried to take advantage of his good nature. But she didn’t. She set her pride and her emotions aside and accepted whatever help she could get.

Each of us, at one time or another, is tempted to let our pride keep us from experiencing kindness at the hands of others. When we find ourselves in a situation out of our control we refuse to lower ourselves to the point of scraping up crumbs, even if that’s all that’s available. Instead of facing our difficulties with an attitude of humility, we become defiant. Exclamations and questions like “This isn’t fair!” and “Don’t I deserve better?” tumble from our lips. We waste energy complaining about a situation instead of putting one foot in front of the other to forge ahead.

No matter what heartaches we face in this life, there is comfort to be found. Even when we find ourselves outside our comfort zones, God will make a way to ensure that we are comforted and comfortable as we rest in Him.

Learning From Ruth--Part 1: Leaning on the Faith of Others

But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. --Ruth 1:16 (NIV)

The book of Ruth begins by establishing the family relationships between Naomi and Elimelech, their sons, and daughters-in-law. Sadly, the women of the family are thrust into a time of crisis and sorrow as a famine sweeps through their land, and each woman’s husband dies. In a culture where men were the bedrock of a family’s stability and well-being, Naomi and her son’s wives decide that, to ensure their survival, they must seek out extended family. Naomi readies herself for a trip to Bethlehem, while urging her daughters-in-law to return to their land of origin. Rather than return to Moab, Ruth declares rather adamantly that she will continue to stay with Naomi.

Moab was a place that didn’t have the greatest reputation. In fact, its origins are rooted in the sinful way that Lot’s daughters attempted to preserve their family line. Consequently, Moab was not known for its morality. Ruth, who was a Moabitess, was not of Jewish heritage, so it was extremely unusual for her to want to stay with Naomi. In doing so she consciously made the decision to go from being a Gentile to a Jew.

I’ve often wondered what motivated Ruth to stay at Naomi’s side. Was it because her mother-in-law represented her only link to her late husband? Was it because she was afraid to return to Moab unaccompanied? Or was it because there was something compelling about the way Naomi lived her life as a woman of faith?

When Ruth said “where you go, I go... your people will be my people and your God my God”, she demonstrates that she knows full well what Naomi’s personal beliefs are. Even though she is in the midst of incredible suffering and heartache, Ruth knows that on some level she can find the peace and comfort she longs for. Ruth has every right to be upset at her circumstances—she’s lost a spouse, a brother-in-law, and her father-in-law all in the same brief period. However, Ruth clings to hope through her sorrow. She decides to start a new life at Naomi’s side, adapting herself to the faith that Naomi has exemplified in her life.

There have been times when I, like Ruth, have felt completely overwhelmed. I cannot tell which end is up and it seems like everything I once held dear was slipping from my grasp. Rather than give up and give in to despair, I press on, clinging to the hope and faith that I have in my Savior. Life is no easier for a Christian than it is for anyone else, but by faith I am sustained. When my willingness to believe God’s promises starts to wane, I, like Ruth, am bolstered by the strength of the convictions of others in my Christian community.

When I have come faced to face with frightening or desperate circumstances and cannot rely on my own strength, I find tremendous healing as I benefit from the faithful actions of my friends and family. I would much rather venture forth to a place where I know I can find comfort and healing than return to a forsaken Moab.