Searching the Heart

Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. --Psalm 139:23 (NIV)

Although we may be able to conceal our innermost thoughts and feelings from other people, we cannot hide them from God. For me, that is a comforting reality. I like knowing that even when my closest friends or family members are unable to understand my thought processes, God knows me better than I even know myself. From every tangled emotion that throws me off kilter to wordless prayers of inexpressible joy, God is present in all of it. He sees me and knows my heart at all times.

When I come before God in prayer, I am willingly standing before him exposed and vulnerable. This used to make me uneasy, but not anymore. I know that nothing he finds in my heart is surprising or shocking. He knows my anxious thoughts, the cares of my heart, and everything else that gets stored up internally in me. When I surrender my thoughts to him and ask him to test my anxious thoughts, he always brings about a feeling of peace and calm.

One of the ways God has tested me in the past with regard to my thoughts, is that he challenges me to trust him completely. He prompts me to respond faithfully to his offer to take my weighty load upon himself. No matter what is going on in my life, God can handle it. Unlike anyone else I lean on, God can completely shoulder the burden of the things that I let bother me. My heart's anxious and murky thoughts are skimmed away, leaving only a clear pool in which God's reflection can be clearly seen.